


Scared

by likethechesspiece



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, This is what should have happened, and kara loves lena, because lena loves kara, mention of monhell but just to drag him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:30:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likethechesspiece/pseuds/likethechesspiece
Summary: What should have happened at the end of 2x12.





	

The black and white screen light of the television flickered through Kara’s apartment and danced over her face; reflecting in her glazed and glistening eyes. She had gone to bed hours ago, glad that she had decided to not talk to Mon-El. He was exasperating and she was sick of finding it hard to breath whenever he was around. It wasn’t a “he takes my breath away” feeling like she had thought it was weeks ago, when Eliza had told her that Mon-El liked her. It was a “I wish you would just _stop_ ” feeling.

Stop talking. Stop expecting from her. Stop making her feel like she should feel obligated to like him back just because he wasn’t being an ass today. He was stealing the life out of her lungs every time she tried to talk to him and tell him adamantly “NO” because he would hear but not listen, and then come back with some stuttering attempt of charm to try and prove her wrong.

He wasn’t proving her wrong. He was proving her right, and himself not worthy of her time. And so, when she’d cleared up her petty arguing with James, and thanked Lena, no matter how much she wanted to clear things up with Mon-El; no matter how much she wanted to clear him up, she just didn’t have the energy.

She’d crawled into bed earlier than most nights and hoped that her day had qualified as exhausting enough and she would fall asleep soon.

But after an hour of lying with her eyes closed, she gave up and walked out into the living room and turned the T.V on. Her brain just wouldn’t stop running. It would flash back and forth between so many topics and random thoughts but would always settle back on Lena and how her office would now smell of every flower for at least the next week, because there was no way on this Earth, or any other planet for that matter, that Kara was going to throw them out until she really needed to.

She was staring at the movie playing in front of her, and where she would usually find her heartstrings being tugged at, she was sighing and wrapping the blanket tighter around her. She wasn’t cold but her arms felt naked without someone’s arms around them. She’d never really felt that feeling before, but when the leading man and woman of the film kissed, Kara turned her head away and no longer felt like they knew what she was feeling.

She wanted someone too. She closed her eyes again, shutting them tighter as they stung a little, and she tried to imagine arms around her until she could believe they were there. Long slender arms, soft and cool to touch, slipping around hers with fingertips digging into the flesh under her baggy sweater. Kara found herself grabbing aimlessly for a pillow to hold, and when she had it in her hands, she pulled it to her chest and breathed it in, the believability reminding her of all those flowers. She nuzzled her nose into the shoulder of the pillow and dragged her nails down it’s back.

She repeated this as if it were a ritual, her tired and lonely body going into autopilot as she acted out this fantasy to alleviate the pain in her chest. She stroked the back of the pillow again and then found her fingers twisting long strands of invisible dark hair in her fingertips. Her lips parted against the pillow and she hushed out a name.

“Lena…”

Her eyes shot open, and she grumbled, annoyed that her conscience had woken her from her almost dream. But now her mind was racing with thoughts of Lena and the pillow was near bursting. She pushed it away and could feel the cool night air against her neck and the top of her chest where the pillow had warmed her. She sat up, fingertips finding the pillow again, and she sighed deeply at herself.

“Lena,” she said with more conviction, knowing all at once, like a tidal wave, that who she wanted, who her body craved, was her new friend. Her friend that felt just as alone as she did right now. Her friend that was gorgeous and kind and _good_. She looked at the T.V screen and as the woman smirked at her lover, she remembered Lena’s smirk to her and she felt her legs tingle. She looked down at her bare legs and saw that goose bumps had risen.

She rubbed them away and tucked her legs up underneath her, grabbing the pillow to her chest again. She liked Lena, and she felt like a fool knowing that Maggie had probably sensed it, or _seen_ it and Alex knew; of course, she knew – she knew Kara better than Kara knew herself. She wanted to run and tell Alex; to knock on her door and scream “I like Lena,” and laugh when Alex would sigh “finally!”

But it was nearing midnight now and happy, gay Alex was probably spooning with equally happy, equally gay Maggie, and so Kara would just tell her tomorrow. So right now, she sat on the couch and hugged her pillow instead of Lena; in lieu of Lena.

The movie still wasn’t the same, but her mind and heart seemed clearer now and so she tried to enjoy it until she felt sleepy again. But it wasn’t happening. The movie finished a half hour later and so Kara flicked through the channels until she found another late-night movie. This one had already started, but she caught up on the storyline quick enough, and as much as she wanted. She didn’t want to be too engrossed otherwise she’d never get to sleep.

She was a little too into the story though, because when the clock ticked over to one o’clock, Kara was still awake and still squeezing the pillow to her chest. In the ad break she turned the volume down – _why are ads always louder than the actual program?_ She asked the universe – and listened to the city outside her window.

Suddenly, she heard a creak on the floorboards outside her front door and she hopped up. She quickly tip-toed to the front door and looked through it on her way and saw that it was Lena. She unlocked her door and swung it open, startling Lena who hadn’t even knocked yet.

“Kara,” Lena squeaked. “I…”

“Come in.” Lena’s shoulders relaxed and she stepped past Kara. She didn’t have a bag with her; only her phone and her keys, but she slipped them into the back pockets of her jeans when she was inside. “I’m still blushing about all those flowers,” Kara hushed towards Lena’s back, not needing to speak very loud.

Lena bit her lip and smiled before turning to Kara. “I’m glad.” Kara tilted her head to the side and smiled. In the back of her mind she realised that to be a quirk of Maggie’s, especially when speaking to her girlfriend, and the thought made Kara blush. She dropped her smile slowly, keeping the head tilt, silently asking Lena what was wrong. “I’m… I’m a bit scared, actually,” Lena said, looking down at her feet.

Kara straightened up and took a step forward, resting her hand on Lena’s shoulder. The brunette looked up and smiled feebly, letting Kara see the fear in her eyes, and the tears now as well. Kara’s hand slid off Lena’s shoulder and down her arm to her hand, where she squeezed and tugged for Lena to follow. She quietly led Lena to the living room and sat her down on the couch she had been sitting on, where it was warm. She let go of Lena’s hand and stroked the top of her head gently, and then the length of hair shimmering hair as it was now draped over her shoulder.

“Take your boots off,” Kara whispered, and shuffled around the couches to grab pillows and the blanket to tuck Lena in. When the brunette was well tended to, Kara sat herself on the other couch and turned the volume back up on the T.V. She had less pillows and no blanket, and she could see her goose bumps return to her thighs, but something told her it wasn’t because of the cool air. She resisted rubbing them away, somewhat excited by their presence, and Lena’s too, and tried to focus on the movie ahead of her.

The credits began to roll, and Kara had completely lost the storyline, instead picking up the scent of Lena floating on the gentle puffs of wind creeping in through the windows. She looked over to Lena now, telling herself that she would ask what the brunette wanted to watch next, but saw that Lena was asleep. She had pulled the same pillow to her chest and was nuzzled in deep; her breathing shallow.

Her breath was warm too, Kara discovered, as she slowly pried the pillow from the brunette’s hold. She placed it at the foot of the couch and stroked Lena’s hair again, tucking loose strands behind her ear. She dared to caress the brunette’s cheek and jaw before standing up to turn the T.V off and walk to her room.

She returned a few moments later, having turned her bedside lamp on and pulled back the covers. “Lena?” she whispered, loud enough to hopefully wake the other woman, but when she did not respond, Kara gently pulled the blanket off her, and slipped her arms around her and under her knees, and picked her up. She bounced her up more securely into her hold, and unbeknownst to the blonde, slightly awoke Lena.

Lena did not open her eyes, instead revelling in Kara’s warm scent and soft tickling of her hair on Lena’s cheek. She breathed in deeply and realised that she had smelt that fruity softness somewhere before, and all at once remembered the sensation of flying through the air, holding on tightly to Supergirl’s strong body, and telling herself to just breath lest she freak out. And so, that is what she had done.

For the few short minutes that she was being whisked through the sky in Supergirl’s embrace, she had focussed on breathing in her smell, and now that she was there again, she smiled a little to herself.

She had guessed as much a few weeks ago, finding that her intense crush on young reporter Kara Danvers piqued her interest when it came to any similarities she found between her and Supergirl. She had put it down to wishful thinking, but the more these similarities appeared, the more Lena had deduced that Kara and the girl of steel were one and the same. And then she drew a pair of make-shift glasses on a picture of Supergirl one tipsy evening, and laughed her way into bed before falling asleep dreaming of Kara.

So now, she was in Kara’s arms, in Supergirl’s arms, yet again and this time it wasn’t life or death, it was love and friendship. She felt Kara stop walking and begin to lower her, and so she nuzzled into the blonde’s neck one last time before her body relaxed into the softness of Kara’s bed. She cracked her eye open a moment later and found the room empty, and so she shimmied out of her jeans under the covers and draped them at the foot of the bed. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and placed it on the bedside table beside her, then nestled back into the mattress.

She snuggled into the pillow beneath her head as Kara came back into the room, a glass of water in hand. Kara noticed Lena’s jeans and smiled. “Denim is not for sleeping in,” she hushed as she placed the glass of water down next to Lena’s phone. She made her way around to her side of the bed, turned off the lamp, and slipped in. She wriggled over to the edge of her pillow so that she could see Lena, snuggled at the edge of hers, and smiled.

Lena’s eyes were closed, but she smiled back, and slid her hand out from underneath her head and across the sheet until it bumped Kara’s. She slipped her fingers in between Kara’s, curling her fingers ever so slightly so that she could hold onto the other woman’s hand.

Kara blushed and continued staring at their hands until her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she could see more clearly. She could see Lena still smiling, and the way her eyelids were twitching told Kara that she was falling asleep again, and it was beautifully mesmerising. She tilted her chin, and then followed through completely until her lips were pressed softly to Lena’s forehead. She let the gentle kiss linger before snuggling back into her pillow and closing her eyes.

Holding Lena’s hand wasn’t as good as she imagined holding all of Lena to feel like, but it was so much better than just a pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat to me on tumblr @ lesbiankissesinspace.tumblr.com about anything gay (especially Katie!) xo


End file.
